Well today is a slightly frightening day. I am going to meet my boyfriends parents for the first time after almost 5 years of dating. His parents are flying in from Macau, China, for his sisters graduation, and have decided to stay with us. At first they were going to stay in a hotel because they just could not deal with the whole gay thing. At the last minute though they decided to stay with us. Now we are just finishing up the finishing touches on the house in a panic, preparing for their arrival. As you can imagine this is going to be a very interesting couple of weeks. Stay tuned for daily updates lol.
Well it’s now been four or five days since I decided to become a, not picky, vegetarian. I have to say I have really enjoyed the food. I feel that for the first time in my life I am actually trying new and unique recipes and not just trying to figure out what to make to accompany my delicious meat. Being Easter weekend it was not easy to stick to my new eating. I was invited to a couple of dinners and so I did eat Salmon and some Lobster as well I am sure there was some dairy and eggs in the food I was served. I did however tell myself that I was going to graciously accept any food that I was served when invited over to someone’s house. I did however have some great meals at home.
My partner made for us a great recipe from the China Study Cookbook made of white beans, red onions and a lot of other deliciousness. Anyway check out the recipe it was so good. Let’s see how the rest of the week goes. I promise I’ll do better.
So today was my first day of trying to become a Vegetarian, or something along those lines. Like a lot of things I do I was suckered in by a documentary that I was watching on Netflix called The China Study. Being suckered in by a documentary might not be the right way to put it, but I do feel that I always get really inspired after watching a documentary. I love the D’s what can I say.
Well I did not start the day as a vegetarian I did end it as one. I wanted to begin my Journey into the world of Vegan cooking with the best meal of the day Dinner. I made this awesome dish called African Vegetables from the China Study cookbook, and let me tell you it was an absolutely delicious way to start. If you want to check out the recipe I found a copy of it here.
I have to say that right now I have no intention of being one of those, nose-up-in-the-air, Vegetarians. I will not refuse food at peoples homes because it has meat in it. I will graciously eat it because well damn it meat is delicious. I still love food and want to be able to enjoy it to it’s fullest. I love the adventure of trying new dishes and become a vegetarian/vegan/sometimes meat eater will certainly help me expand my pallet.
So Join me on my adventure as I step into the well known but sometimes shunned world of Vegan/Vegetarian eating.
So I was listening to this awesome Ted Talk the other day and I wish I could tell you what it was called or who delivered the talk but like usual I forget. Man my memory is horrible. So, yes, the Ted Talk it was about this guy, or was it a girl? anyway the point is that the talk was about trying something new every 30 days for 30 Days. So because the months fluctuate in days I will just do it monthly and of coarse every day for that month.
So there is so many things that a person could try out or learn to do in a 30 day period. I think what turned me on to the idea of doing this was not so much the learning new skills but the Ted Talker had said that time seemed to slow down. Man if we can get time to slow just a little I am all over that. Of coarse learning a new skill or whatever also is very appealing to me. There are so many thing that would be awesome to learn, maybe a new language or a new skill like knitting or painting. maybe a new life style like being a vegetarian or bodybuilding.
Speaking of Bodybuilding that is what I am going to try well not extreme bodybuilding or anything but I will, starting May 1st, go to the gym everyday for the month of May. Now of coarse if I am going to do this I want to see some improvement I would like to see just how much I can change my body in 1 month so tomorrow I will post some pictures from my first day and continue to update you with pictures and blogs through out my journey. I am actually really excited about this.
Sometimes I get this over whelming sense that I am alone. I guess Alone is not the right world. I have my mom who I get to hang with every and of coarse my amazing boyfriend that I get to see everyday and consider myself very lucky for being able to do that. I guess maybe it is a little bit of that social media envy thing. I see people I know going out with groups of friends for dinner, parties, group vacations, road trips and those types of things and it makes me feel very envious of what they have. I wish I could just go to my friends and say, ” hey guys want to go to Mexico?” Instead it just seems like we are all living our own separate lives and we keep in touch with each other just enough to not feel so god dam alone all the time.
How do they find the time to do it, to stay in touch with each other? Maybe they don’t have any more time than me maybe my priorities are just not in the right place.
I am not really sure where I am going with this blog now, but I am sure it is not the last time that I write about this topic.
Ok so I am going to add a new category to the blog today; Dreams. My dream memory is usually in bits and pieces but they are also usually vivid enough that the parts I do remember are awesome. I want to start off by saying I love dreams. Good or bad I find all dreams fascinating. To me a dream is like watching or living in a virtual movie where I am the main character and no matter what happens in the dream I wake up, well at least so far anyway.
Ok so for last nights dream I do not remember a whole lot but what I do remember was pretty intense. I was in a field with my boyfriend and we were running away from something. I am not sure if what we were running from was people or if it was more sinister but either way we felt our lives were in danger. We felt so much so that our lives were in danger that we decided that the best idea would be for us to take our own lives. It just so happened that I had a hand gun on me (like usual ….NOT) So my boyfriend did not want to kill himself and I also wanted to be the one to do the shooting because I was scared that he would freak out or chicken out after and then I would be the only one dead; so not fare.
So I did the shooting. I laid up right beside him facing him and shot him right in the stomach he passed away slowly but with little pain so that was good. Ok now my turn, since shooting him in the stomach looked rather painless I thought I would do the same. 3 2 1 boom right in the stomach I laid there waiting to die but nothing so I shot myself in the chest and still nothing, so chest again and then stomach. After all the shooting I took it that I was not meant to die and got up and left. I did feel guilty that I had killed my bf but what can I do when fate intervenes lol. So anyway I am heading home and who do I run in to but my boyfriend and let me tell you he is pissed that I killed him. The dream ended there though. So yeah that is my dream from last night.
I really think that something major just happened on the planet yesterday. I know you are going to laugh but it was caused by the Tumblr Post about the Dress. I am sure by now, unless you are living under a rock, you know exactly the dress I am referring too. For those of you who missed out The following picture of a dress was posted to Tumblr and went mega viral over night. The reason the dress went so viral is because so many people disagreed on what they saw in the picture. Some people (the right people) saw the dress as some shade of Blue with either a black or brown lace stripe on it. Now somehow(don’t ask me how) the majority of people actually saw the dress as White and Gold.
Now this is what I think has happened and will continue to happen in the aftermath of all of this nonsense. The dress will actually cause people to question the reality that they are living in. If I could say with out a doubt that the dress was one colour, yet the person right beside me saw something completely different, what else do I believe to be true that is in fact not true.
Is what I think blue is actually blue at all? What about taste do the strawberries I eat taste the same to you as they do to me? Maybe that is why we can love a food yet other people hate the taste of that very same food. It might not even stop there take religion for example you might believe with all your heart and soul that your religion is true and that what you have been taught is the TRUTH. Somehow though the guy living next to you believes with out a doubt that the religion he believes in is the truth and that you are wrong about what you believe to be true . How can the two of you both know what you believe is the Truth? Maybe because both of you are in fact right? or maybe you are actually both wrong.
I am not sure we will ever really know for sure. What we can take from this and should learn from this is that we all persevere the world in a sometimes very different way. So maybe we should not get so upset when someone believes something different from what we believe to be true. Maybe the Blue/White Dress can in the end bring us all closer together.
I need a little advice from you.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for just over 2 years now. His parents just let him know that they will be coming to visit, from China, in early summer for 2 months. He came out to his parents just before we moved in together. I have assumed this whole time that they knew we were living together but it turns out they do not know. He has sort of suggested that I could move out for two months while they visit so that it is easier on his parents and well in turn easier on his own emotions. I feel like I am stuck in a really difficult situation. Part of me wants to say sure honey I will find somewhere to stay for a few month, but the other part is saying, No I am staying wet have built a life together and it is time you man up and tell your parents that we live together. I mean we have spent the last year renovating a home together we have adopted a cat and a dog together we have built a pretty kick ass life with each other.
If I were a person of the opposite sex that his parents did not like would I be asked to leave? No probably not there are a ton of couples whose partners parents do not like their son or daughters partners. Some how they all learn to at least tolerate each other.
I do understand though that their is a major difference between Chinese and Canadian culture when it comes to Same Sex relationships.
So I guess you have enough to go on from me. Do what do you think I should do. Should I leave for the two months or should I stay?
“Oh Captain my Captain” was a quote I came to know from the movie Dead Poets Society. Robin Williams you truly were a captain for so many.
I was blown away today when I, like so many, heard the news of the passing of Robin Williams. Every movie I watched of his since I was a kid came rushing back in to my head. I was one of the lucky people that was born in to a world with Robin Williams on the big screen. He was a part of my life at so many moments.
I remember as a kid watching the movie Good Morning Vietnam over and over and over. He brought such a enthusiasm to the screen! He was so full of life his character was exactly who I wanted to be when I was a grown-up.
I really thought that Robin Williams was like he was in the movies in real life. It was easier to imagine him as this happy go lucky guy who never had a problem or care in the world, a person who lived to make us laugh till we peed our pants. Then I started to see myself what people like him and I were really like. I would go to school and be the class clown, make everyone laugh and just really act the fool. No one would have ever guessed that I was hurting so bad on the inside. When I left school I went home to an abusive house hold everyday. Getting hit for the littlest thing, always being scared, on top of that I was just starting to realize that I was gay and worst of all the feeling of being unloved. School was an outlet to feel like I was someone else. I became an actor in a sense and I have really kept it up my entire life.
I think Robin Williams suicide has affected me so much because I am so much like him. Making people laugh and be happy and even when I am feeling really down I never tell anyone I mask it with a smile I make it seem like nothing is wrong.
Comedian and friend Kathleen McGee put it perfect in her latest face book post:
“I found myself crying on the skytrain when I heard the news. A little shocked that this affected me so much. I, like pretty much everyone I knew grew up loving Robin Williams. He had a career that any comedian would dream of. I feel like his career is what many of us are striving for. Robin was loved by so many people and it still didn’t stop his depression from taking over. That scares me. I’ve struggled my whole life with depression and the feeling that no one loves, cares or even likes me (even though I know that’s not true.) I keep thinking if I get more work and things that I’ve wanted out of this career that it will make everything better. When something like this happens to someone like him it just makes you realize that this disease is ruthless. That sometimes you can be so strong on the outside but so scared on the inside. That you can have everything you ever dreamed of but still feel alone. If you feel sad don’t just brush it under the table. Talk to someone, get help. Never be ashamed.” – Kathleen McGee
When will we finally start talking about depression and other forms of mental illness. We have lost so many wonderful people to depression both famous as well as our friends and family. We have all been touched by depression in one way or another. We need to start talking to each other when we hurt, we need to show empathy to others so that they feel worth and loved. We need to Validate one another so we all feel our importance in life.
I am on a pill that is used to help with depression and mood swings. I wish I would have gone on it years ago it has changed my life for the better that is for sure. I used to think like so many others that I don’t need to take something to make me feel good I can deal with it on my own, if that was true then why was I like that for so long? Sometimes we just need a little help. If you had cancer would you pass up on radiation and say you could do it yourself? If you had schizophrenia you would need to take pills to keep it at bay. Be honest with yourself you sometimes you can’t just wish something away, sometimes we just need help.
When people like Robin Williams Die from something like addiction and depression it gives us all a chance to talk, so lets talk. If you have been through depression help someone going through it now. If you are going through depression now reach out to someone for help.
Last Saturday we took the car in for a oil change and check up so it would be good for the trip. Of coarse like usual when you bring the car in to the shop there is always more on the list of things to do than you brought it in for. So we forked out the $700 for the Oil Change, Tire Switch over, new AC Belt, and left side axle. Obviously we wanted the car to be in good condition for the trip so as much as it hurt to fork out the cash we knew that it was for a good cause.
Yesterday the Heat was unbearable here in Edmonton. Around 5pm it was almost 40C with the humidity. I was driving the car down Fort Road going past Century Casino when all of a sudden my temperature light turned on, then I could see the temperature gauge climbing rather fast till it reached the top. When it reached the top I was luckily able to pull over to the Canadian Tire and have them look at it. So another $500 later and a new thermostat and a coolant flush I think the car might actually this time be ready for the trip (fingers Crossed)
Anyway Can’t wait to share pictures and stories from the trip with you.